Monday, June 06, 2005

A Moral and Physical Thermometer

(as printed in The Columbian Magazine, 1789; the point, obviously, was to disuade people from drinking - the temperance movement; there's an actual chart here, made to look like a thermometer, but I'll just list them off from good to bad)

A Moral and Physical Thermometer: Or; A Scale of the Progress of TEMPERANCE and INTEMPERANCE. Liquors, with their EFFECTS, in thier usual order.

TEMPERANCE.

Water; milk and water, vinegar and water, molasses and water; small beer -- Health, Wealth, Serenity of mind, Reputation, long life and Happiness.

Cider; Wine; Porter; Strong beer -- Cheerfulness, Strength and Nourishment, when taken only at meals, and in moderate quantities.

INTEMPERANCE.

Punch; Toddy; Grog; Slings -- VICES: Idleness; Pevishness; Quarreling; Fighting; Lying; Swearing; DISEASES: Sickness; Puking and Tremors of the hands, in the morning; Bloatedness; Inflamed eyes; Red nose and face; Sore and swelled legs; Jaundice; PUNISHMENTS: Debt; Black-eyes; Rags; Hunger; Hospital; Poor House.

Bitters infused in spirits (Rum, Gin, Brandy, Whisky & Jamaica spirits) during the DAY & NIGHT -- VICES: Obscenity; Fraud; Anarchy; Hatred of just government; Murder; Suicide; DISEASES: Pains in the limbs & burning in the palms of the hands, and soles of the feet; Dropsy; Epilepsy; Melancholy; Ideotism; Madness; Palsy; Apoploxy; DEATH; PUNISHMENTS: Jail; Whipping-post; Wheel-barrow; GALLOWS.

3 Comments:

Blogger fred burgess! said...

Whipping-post?! Wheel-barrow?!?

Awesome.

10:49 AM  
Blogger carlBOMB said...

this would, perhaps, explain, chase short's pre-occupation with wheel-barrows. hes fighting the good fight, it would appear

8:50 PM  
Blogger carlBOMB said...

Consider some of our synonyms for drunk: tipsy, tight, pickled, soused and plowed; stoned and stewed, lubricated and inebriated, juiced and sluiced; three sheets to the wind, in your cups, out of your mind, under the table, lit up, tanked up, wiped out; besotted, blotto, bombed, and buzzed; plastered, polluted, putrified; loaded or looped, boozy, woozy, fuddled, or smashed; crooked and shit-faced, corked or pissed, snockered and sloshed.

- Scott Russel Saunders "Under the Influence"

8:54 PM  

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