Don'ts

by David Shrigley

Don't climb inside old freezers in the junk yard
Don't try to swim to the island
Don't put ammunition on the campfire
Don't summon demons with the Ouija board
Don't shut your eyes while you're driving
Don't drink the gray wine
There is no such thing as a metal frisbee
Don't swallow pills that you find in the street
Don't throw stones at me to try to get my attention
Don't glue razor blades on to him
Don't lean out of the window when the bullet train is in motion
Don't play chicken
Don't climb on the roof
Don't hanglide over the volcano
Don't be dared to do dangerous things by people with missing limbs
Don't shout at old people
Don't liberate zoo animals
Don't slash my tires while I'm driving
Don't stage mock executions
Don't push red buttons
Don't jump over the barriers
Don't break into people's houses and climb up their chimneys
There is no such thing as a metal frisbee